Contemplations of a Sentimental Gunslinger
by serenity1999
Summary: This poem follows Roland from his first true love, Susan Delgado to his first born son, Mordered Deschain. Reviews are most welcome! :)


**Contemplations of a Sentimental Gunslinger**

**I  
**

Twelve creatures guard the beams

_(See the horse of stature immense!  
for honor and virtue are his common sense  
he stands for justice pure and true  
and judges people in all they do  
with caramel orbs old and wise  
he hunts the traitors, those who lie  
he loves his domain under skies so blue  
and may even love the likes of you!)_

**II**

I am not loved by such a beast  
My bird  
and bear  
and hare  
and fish  
to give my love her fondest wish

Improbable

**III**

_(See the wolf of brilliant mind!  
He's quick of wit and always kind  
It's never nerve that he may lack  
The Towers first, then his pack  
His heads held high and white fangs gleam  
His job is clear : protect the beam  
With willful speed he hunts his prey  
And Ka keeps blowing day by day)_

**IV**

I watched her burnher hair engulfed by  
(_charyou tree_!)  
flickering flames  
while Ka and I watched by  
like two old chums  
out for midnight strolls  
with nothing but wine and politics on our breath  
funny how the word "political" meant nothing to me at the time  
all that mattered was…

**V**

_Ka_

Meaning:

Destiny  
Hope  
God  
Fate

Whatever name you want to give to the Bastard who completely takes control of your life!  
Susan never did like it when I cursed

**VI**

_Susan_

Meaning:  
My love  
My life

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!

taken away in a series of threats  
I traded her life  
for the  
(the Voyage?)  
(the Quest?)  
(the Fantasy that runs through a fourteen years of age boy?)  
depends if that fantasy is a choice

I know mine was…..

……..be grateful…..

I'm not usually this truthful with strangers

---------------------------------------------------

**VII**

Are you done with your naked production of salt water tears?  
my friends call it crying  
an incompetent showing of…  
emo…?  
emotions…?  
a showing of _emotions_ when sad?  
oh, how ye all confuse me!  
emotion!  
crying!  
what words ye use!  
how they spoke when we found on the beach  
oh! When we _met _on the beach!  
and how I pulled them from doors  
three floating cursed doors  
their names graved in-

**VIII**

_The Prisoner_

"Eddie Dean, of New York"  
a white powdered swan  
a white powder swam in his eyes  
through his lips  
on his teeth  
over buds on his tongue  
like the farm of decaying corpse lilies  
his deadly girlfriend, walking temptations  
that sickening name  
the whore that was graced _Cocaine_  
pulling him through  
a feat in itself  
keeping him  
helps death keep-a-knocking  
for  
"out of the frying pan  
into the fire"  
on a date where that "girlfriend" can't come….

….or wont….

I pulled him through for my own selfish use  
and _my_ use alone will her serve  
he's my servant  
my pawn  
my stubborn drunk slave  
who will bend to my will  
at a whim  
and yet  
one of my few living friends  
one who will fight for my breath  
very few care enough now-a-days

**IX**

_The Lady of Shadows_

"Odetta Holmes of New York"  
"Detta Walker of New York"  
two personalities  
sponged into one  
the beauty of stealth  
and the danger of not knowing the trait  
neither one  
sees the other  
through a one way looking glass  
and a launch button always in use  
while her _hand_ holds your neck  
and her _hands_ cup you blood  
in a stream she had drawn through her mouth

it was a life time of years  
from the brick  
to the train  
"The Pusher" fulfilled the act of his name  
and in a rush of the cars  
and a rush of the tracks  
she now "walks"  
with the wheels as her legs  
she has not much reason to like that

she was second pulled through  
or the third  
if you prefer  
her middle name  
sprinted to first  
as the twins became one  
she accepted his ring  
and the two  
soon became Susannah Dean

**x**

and they walked down the path  
down _their _path of the beam  
learning to

(_say your lessons_)  
prove themselves  
(_I do not aim with my hand_)  
worthy  
(_he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father,  
I aim with my eye_)  
of a Gunslinger's  
_(I do not shoot with my hand)_  
art  
(_he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father,  
I shoot with my mind)_  
train their hands  
(_I do not kill with my gun)_  
to pull without thought  
(_he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father,  
I kill with my heart)_  
it is certainly not a New Yorker's fault  
_(then kill these)_  
and so they did……

**XI**

_The Boy_

"Jake Chambers of New York"  
a task of Key, Rose, and Door  
to collect "The Boy"  
a boy now dead twice  
all for smoke under the face of a man!  
….let us change the topic under which we speak…  
please.

**XII**

Soon we found the train  
for  
(_Blain is a pain_)  
and that is the truth  
patricia  
under suicide fell  
and the kingdom of Lud  
passed away  
through the gasses they once used themselves  
fools if there ever were some  
from Blaine  
to the wolves  
a trick of the mask  
a decided game  
for the scoreboard to show  
but-  
a "Sneech!"  
a "Shot!"  
a "Quake!"  
and the death  
as Jakes knees bend  
on the head of a friend  
may we pray for release of his soul  
now may we all say…

**XIII**

Hile, Mia!  
Hile, Mother!  
Daughter of none  
soon to be mother of one  
The Chap  
(_oh my Chap_!)  
our little Red King  
born to twin parents of White

Susannah and Miafor his soul how they fought!  
two mothers  
and one child between

Then how he was born!  
with the mark on his heel  
and his eyes that dazzling blue  
as he then changed his shape  
while on Mia he fed  
there was a chorus that all should now sing:  
"Hile, Mordred Deschain!  
Hile, to our new Crimson King!!"

**XIV**

Now we walk  
(with the tower) in front  
and my son (with death) to our backs  
to our sides nothing but seas and plains  
still may I find my Tower  
may I breach it too..  
"For there I will sing all their names!"


End file.
